I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
