I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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