he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
