Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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