So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
