Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
