I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize