I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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