it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
