I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
