he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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