so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
