If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
