How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
