that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
