id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
