Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
