Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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