I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I understand Curling. That high.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
