He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
