Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
