so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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