Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
