Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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