This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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