you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
