I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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