Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
