Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Of course I have a pirate flag
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
