I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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