Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
