Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
