So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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