She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
