I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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