First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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