Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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