you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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