But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
