I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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