Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
