Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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