Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize