So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
