I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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