Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
