Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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