Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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