I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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