there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
