walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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