Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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