Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
