Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
