Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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