things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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