I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
