uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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