That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
