He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we should paint friendship bongs
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
