The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize