you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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